


He-Who-Was-Impaled

by MiriRainbowitz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 17:57:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20068189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriRainbowitz/pseuds/MiriRainbowitz
Summary: Based onthis post





	He-Who-Was-Impaled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hogwartsaheadcanon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hogwartsaheadcanon/gifts).

Thomas Burke was a veteran Auror, having joined as soon as he'd graduated from Hogwarts 20 years ago. He'd seen a fair amount of disturbing and grisly crime scenes, and during the war, the deaths had become extremely gruesome.

He had _never_, in his entire life, seen a dead body as _bizarre_ as the one in front of him.

The most feared wizard of this generation, the leader of the Death Eaters, You-Know-Who himself, was lying on the floor of the Potter residence, chock full of holes and giving off a slight odor of urine. He'd clearly bled out, and based on the wetness of his robes, had also been peed on.

Thomas sighed. "So, Mr. Potter, just to be perfectly clear, you're saying a _deer_ did this?"

James Potter looked at him. "Technically, it was a stag, but yes. A stag just appeared out of nowhere when Voldy here came in and just… impaled him. Right through the eye into the brain. Felt nasty… I would imagine. Because I was totally frozen in shock right over here."

Thomas could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. "Where did the urine come from?"

"The stag peed on the body before it ran away. I don't know where it went," Potter replied. "Anyway, is that it?"

Thomas considered his options for a moment. He was pretty sure Potter was hiding something, but to be perfectly frank, he didn't much care. You-Know-Who was finally dead, Thomas was tired, and from the way Potter was anxiously glancing at the stairs, he wanted to see his family. "Yeah, that's it," he said. "Have a good evening, Mr. Potter."


End file.
